Sunday, November 11, 2007


There is only one month left. Some are counting "dawns" to join their families and some are preparing for something they don't know much about yet. They don't even know the meaning of "counting dawns" or where they will be sent.

I am talking about the new military service term. Latest developments are making the boys more and more excited and full of emotions. Certainly it is not only the boys but also mothers who are lost in deep thoughts.

Because one of mine already served close to border, he is counted as experienced between friends. They are after endless questions as mine was before his service. Last night they went to drink and talk. I can sense the slight fear they try to hide.

The news of the kidnapped soldiers came at the same minutes. They are arrested after the interrogations fallowing their return. Accusations don't include treachery and not very clear yet but there are many rumors.
It would not take long to learn if there was an "intended treason". But even if there was; can all 8 of them been involved. "Impossible is impossible" is one of the experiences I learned in this life. Still I can't make myself believe such a conspiracy and afraid some innocent may burn beside others.

It is certainly possible there was a treachery in the event. In many books I read there were many witnessing to such events as PKK member soldiers fire back to their own units, put bombs, give information etc..

My mind wonders at different waters. I am curious how the whole event took place. It shouldn't be a national security matter and people should have the right to be informed. Our army is one of the biggest and strongest armies. So many are there in the middle of fire, so many worrying for their sons who are not sure about the danger they are in, so many are preparing to take their turns and again so many mothers in worry not knowing where they will send their sons yet.

My curious part wants to learn; what happened there, if they are giving training for these kind of events, if these boys are/ will be certain that their state / army will rescue them anyway in such a condition. What... if...

According to International Geneva Convention they are not "prisoner of war" but "hostages taken by terrorists", so what can be the rules of a state at this point? Certainly not the Israel way. They destroyed Lebanon but couldn't get back their soldiers.

It is easy to talk. Journalists, experts etc will begin to write their opinions as soon as tomorrow. Families will bury in silence with shame. People are already discussing; some say it is better to die than surrender and some say saving their lives means they may go on fighting. It is not possible to understand both.

There are times in life when logic stops, mind don't function. If they are not really in connection with PKK, may be we can only understand this after long psychological works.

If there is one thing we are taking away from these boys', soldiers' lives; it should be the light in their eyes. Even if they turn safe and healthy, they turn loosing that invisible light in their eyes.

Only mothers can recognize that light, if it is still there or not...

oh boys let me kiss you, hug you until satiated
as if I can cover you with my hearth
go, drink to your guts tonight
I am aware what you feel, to hide...
I know mine will try to encourage you
hiding most of what he lived
if I can take your moms out a night
I would also do my best to hide..

I catch mine reading "These Crazy Turks"
no wonder you are reading too
great reality and great propaganda
to sacrifice your lives for today's incredible lies..
I made him read opposite and asked his woo
not to fire even once to our own..
he questioned me what if he tracked under fire
should he wait our own's bullets to die?
I stunned with hopelessness
silent in lack of answers...

boys I know your blood is running in fire
I know you are also confused, afraid
neither try to be brave, nor hide
this is not our war, not your war
just try to be calm, be wise
patriotism is not blind courage, stay alive
you have so many stars
to watch with love and delight...

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